There was a time in human history when douchebags didn't exist, right? There didn't seem to be any record of douchebags in ancient Greek times. Plato never wrote in his dialogues about guys that he knew who were complete pricks, right? So when did the douchebag come into existence? And what event, natural or supernatural, do we have to blame for this?
I don't think there were douchebags in colonial times, or even in the early 20th century. There were assholes, dictators, pricks, despots, evil men, and jerks but no douchebags.
I think somewhere in the 80's, the uber-douche was born, though probably unrecognizable to us as such. From him evolved the douchebag into what we know today. So who could it have been?
Donald Trump seems close, though not quite. He's a dick, but he's not a douchebag. Though I'm sure he helped the douchebag movement gain momentum.
Was there a movie character that encapsulated the douchebag ideals? Often, cultural occurences like movies unknowingly unleash things into society. Was the douchebag one of these things?
Johnny from Karate Kid? I think we're getting somewhere. How about surfer-type movies from the 80s? They've got string potential for fostering the birth of the douchebag.
Oh but wait. There were definitely douchebag-types in Animal House. Though they weren't as in-your-face as today's douchebags, they definitely exhibited classic douche characteristics. And that was a monumental movie.
I bet you could trace the douchebag lineage from Animal House up to today. That would be a very interesting douche family tree.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Kissing
I don't think people realize how important the "mwaaah" part of kissing is. (That's the best term I can use to describe it. It's the action that ends the kiss, the sound that's made when the lips come apart from each other, making that smacking sound.)
But think about it, without that "mwaah", all you have is two people touching lip-to-lip (or lip-to-cheek), and then pulling away. Kissing would be so unbelievably awkward without the "mwaah".
Don't believe me? Next time you kiss your significant other, leave out the "mwaah" part. It's weird. It's borderline creepy. It's like two birds pecking at each other.
And all of this brings up a good point...Why do we do the "mwaah"? It's not something that's inextricable from the kiss, as the above little experiment just showed. It's not as if it's physically impossible to leave out the "mwaah". Yet we do it as second nature. Obviously, you can argue that the "mwaah" is what makes a kiss a kiss, and without it, it's simply not a kiss. But I'm not arguing about what constitutes a kiss, simply about how the kiss came to be defined as such. (No need to rehash the "No True Scotsman" fallacy, killer.)
Our ancestors must've realized how awkward it was to not have the "mwaah", and forced themselves to do it, day after day. Then, through many generations, we just became wired to give the "mwaaah" at the end of a kiss. And it really was a brilliant discovery by our ancestors. Not only does it alleviate any awkwardness, it gives the kiss a definitive ending point.
So really, we have to thank cavemen for:
1. Fire
2. The wheel
3. the "mwaah"
And I'll bet that's why cavemen clubbed women over the head and brought them back to the cave. It was just too awkward and embarassing to kiss them in public.
But think about it, without that "mwaah", all you have is two people touching lip-to-lip (or lip-to-cheek), and then pulling away. Kissing would be so unbelievably awkward without the "mwaah".
Don't believe me? Next time you kiss your significant other, leave out the "mwaah" part. It's weird. It's borderline creepy. It's like two birds pecking at each other.
And all of this brings up a good point...Why do we do the "mwaah"? It's not something that's inextricable from the kiss, as the above little experiment just showed. It's not as if it's physically impossible to leave out the "mwaah". Yet we do it as second nature. Obviously, you can argue that the "mwaah" is what makes a kiss a kiss, and without it, it's simply not a kiss. But I'm not arguing about what constitutes a kiss, simply about how the kiss came to be defined as such. (No need to rehash the "No True Scotsman" fallacy, killer.)
Our ancestors must've realized how awkward it was to not have the "mwaah", and forced themselves to do it, day after day. Then, through many generations, we just became wired to give the "mwaaah" at the end of a kiss. And it really was a brilliant discovery by our ancestors. Not only does it alleviate any awkwardness, it gives the kiss a definitive ending point.
So really, we have to thank cavemen for:
1. Fire
2. The wheel
3. the "mwaah"
And I'll bet that's why cavemen clubbed women over the head and brought them back to the cave. It was just too awkward and embarassing to kiss them in public.
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