People get made fun of for buying bottled water. And that's fair enough. Why pay $2 for something that's not only free, but abundant? I think Lewis Black nailed it in his bit.
But if spending $2 on water is silly, then spending $200 on a grill is just crazy talk.
When you buy the bottle of water, you're getting a few things:
1. water - Obvious, yes. But I can't make my own water, unless I pee into a filter, and drink it. And that, my friend, is not happening anytime soon.
2. A container - Not only do you get water, but you get to take it with you. pretty snazzy.
So I can almost justify the $2 on the bottle of water.
Now, let's look at what you get with a grill:
1. Fire - Nothing a couple matches and some paper can't solve. Nothing stopping me from doing that.
2. A container - I'm pretty sure a trash can will suffice (I haven't talked to any homeless people recently, but I've seen the "Eye of the Tiger" video a few times...trash cans can make nice fire holders.)
So we pay 100 times as much for something that really doesn't give us anything new. Oh, but I guess I forgot about all the stainless steel gadgets and widgets and doors and griddles and trays.
And you could even spend $2000 on a monstrosity that has warmers and multiple levels and temperature gauges and a massage chair and a beer holder and a meat dehydrator and orange juicer and a robotic handjob arm.
I think homeless people got it right on this one...well, I might pay $2000 for a robotic handjob arm.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Extreme Eating
Reason #347 to envy babies:
Whenever babies eat, they get strapped into their chair in a 5-point harness. I don't care what you say, that's exciting. Even though it's probably just strained peas and carrots, it opens the possibility that lunch could involve skydiving or BASE jumping.
Even if there's not a freefall involved, you can just go to town on your food, and have no concerns about falling out of your chair. It happens to everyone at some point: You enter a trance where you become one with your food and lose your sense of self. Chicken Wings, corn on the cob, a juicy burger; Everyone has their own Achille's Veal.
And when you enter that state, you wish you could just demolish that sandwich without having to worry about things like gravity and balance, let alone getting sauce on your face.
Whenever babies eat, they get strapped into their chair in a 5-point harness. I don't care what you say, that's exciting. Even though it's probably just strained peas and carrots, it opens the possibility that lunch could involve skydiving or BASE jumping.
Even if there's not a freefall involved, you can just go to town on your food, and have no concerns about falling out of your chair. It happens to everyone at some point: You enter a trance where you become one with your food and lose your sense of self. Chicken Wings, corn on the cob, a juicy burger; Everyone has their own Achille's Veal.
And when you enter that state, you wish you could just demolish that sandwich without having to worry about things like gravity and balance, let alone getting sauce on your face.
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